Lost Without You

Lost Without You -cover

Lost Without You by LandJrule
Words: 7, 365 words
Published: 28/11/2013 (Australian East Coast Time)
Pairing: Oliver/Felicity
Characters: Oliver, Felicity. And the rest are my own creations.
Season/Episode: Set about 2 years after ‘State Vs Queen’ (2×07), about the show’s Season 4. Remember this — because the small details will make more sense if you do.
Synopsis: Okay, so there’s not really much of a mission in this. Oliver needs to speak with the Bosnian Mafia to get information regarding their mission, and Felicity comes along. Things don’t go so well for them. But every bad event has a silver lining, as Felicity and Oliver find out.

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Can’t stop the tears from running down my face

All I know is I’m lost without you I’m not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side

Rating: M (swearing/coarse language)
Author’s Note: Okay, so this story came to me last week. I’ve been writing my own TV series about a hero, & this storyline comes originally from that — but the more I wrote it for that, the more I kept thinking about Olicity. And so I converted it into an Olicity story — although altering it to suit the Arrow world was much harder than I expected!
I also want to give credit to a song. I even named this fic after it. It’s Lost Without You by Delta Goodrem. If you don’t know it, listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMYUYtsUGgg
I was trying to come up with a name for this story yesterday, and I had my iPod playing — the song came up, and it inspired me. And I do kinda have a habit of naming my stories after songs, lol.
I also wanted to thank Kate Gregorash (Twitter– @klgregorash) who kindly proofread the entire thing! I’d reached the point where I was so stressed making the original piece fit Olicity that I was making simple errors and was over reading it. Kate read it, and made it much easier to understand. Also she came up with my favourite line in the entire piece — and she says that was pure luck!
Disclaimer: just the usual I don’t own it stuff.
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The drive there is done in silence. He didn’t want me there, claimed it’d be too dangerous for me to be around the Bosnian Mafia (apparently they’re “too brutal” for me, yet are fine for him, pffft). I’d held my ground, though, telling him I’m coming. When he’d continued to argue, I simply said I can handle it. I’ve been learning self-defense moves; I have the skills to defend myself. He eventually caved, making me promise to stay in the car the whole time.

I look up from the information we have on my tablet, to find him gripping the steering wheel tightly. I’ve never seen him so nervous on a mission before. I wonder what’s going on in his mind right now, noting his clenched jaw.

He’s not in his Green Arrow outfit. To get the information we need, Oliver needs to show himself to the Bosnian Mafia. So he’s in his suit, the top couple of buttons on his shirt left undone.

I look back at my tablet as he turns onto a side street. I let out a small sigh – all this information is rather overwhelming. Not to mention sickening – the amount of deaths that have been linked to the Bosnian Mafia, most of which haven’t resulted in any arrests by members. I’m so lost in thought, I don’t even notice us come to a stop until Oliver’s hand touches my left forearm. I look up at him, to find him staring at me. His blue eyes seem to be darker now.

“These men are dangerous,” he says in his very serious voice. The one he gets on missions. “I want you to lock the doors. If anything happens – if they come for you, put your hand on the car horn, and don’t take it off.” He’s giving me his intense stare. “I’ll hear it, and I’ll come right away for you.”

“I can fend them off.”

NO!” He’s so stern, so loud, I flinch. He slides his hand down my arm, and slips his into mine to hold it reassuringly. “Look, you don’t know the Bosnian Mafia like I do. Before you start about the research, it’s not like that. They’re worse. Far worse. That’s why I didn’t want you coming along, because I—” He looks away, letting out a shaky sigh. I know he’s struggling to keep back tears. He takes a moment to compose himself enough to look at me again. “I’m afraid that something horrible will happen to you, and I might not be able to help you in time. And I can’t… I can’t live with myself if that happens.”

I squeeze his hand, holding back my tears. “You’ll hear me on the comms. If anything happens, I’ll kick them, scream my lungs out, slam my hand on the horn, and not take it off.”

He smiles, but it’s small and forced. “If they do come, and they manage to get you out of the car… hit them and run.”

“Oliver—”

Run, Felicity.” His voice breaks during my name. “You’re better off running away than staying and trying to fight them.” He reaches over with his other hand, and cups my cheek. “You’re not ready to face them in a fight.” He blinks several times to clear tears. “Not yet,” he whispers.

I close my eyes as I turn into his hand. This could be the last time we work together. I want to remember this moment, to burn it into my mind. So I have one last happy memory to hang on to – in case they get me, or… get him.

I feel him gently rubbing his thumb back and forth over my cheek, his calloused skin feeling rough against mine, yet completely comforting. I let out a contented sigh, pushing more into his hand.

Then I feel it leave and I open my eyes. His eyes aren’t on me – he’s staring out the windscreen, and in this dim light I can see he’s frowning slightly.

“Lock the doors behind me,” he says, back to his serious tone again. He’s building up his composure, his game face. “Remember… don’t fight.”

“Run,” I reply, nodding. I add in a barely above a whisper, “I know.”

He nods once, still not looking at me.

“Hey,” I say, squeezing his hand.

He looks at me, and I see the worry and pain in his eyes. Then I say those five reassuring words, even though we both know they’re probably wrong.

“We’ll see each other again.”

The corners of his lips curl up slightly, and I know it’s not such a forced smile as the previous one. He then draws my hand up to him, and places a light kiss on its back that has me feeling dizzy.

“Stay safe,” he whispers.

I fight back tears, taking a moment to bite my lip. “You, too.”

He squeezes my hand firmly, and for a split second it feels bone crushing. His eyes lock with mine, and I see the pain in them. He really is worried that we’re not going to both survive this. The air vanishes in my lungs just thinking about it, my chest tightening, and my heart shoved up into my throat. This could be the very last time we see each other.

I inhale sharply, the tears really stinging now. I nod. I then choke out, “Good luck.”

He smiles, and it’s so much less forced, as he nods. He then gives my hand another firm squeeze before letting go. He opens the door and steps out. Once it’s shut, I see him linger beside the car until I’ve locked the doors. I watch him walk across in front of our car to the building on my side – doing his suit jacket up and smoothing it out as he does. He stops at a door several meters ahead of our car and knocks. There’s a long pause before the door opens. I hear his voice via our comms, but can’t understand even a single word since it’s Bosnian. Whatever he said works – for he steps behind the door, out of my sight and into the building.

I sigh, and push my glasses up with both hands to wipe away my tears. I hate it when we get this emotional during our missions. I make sure my glasses are sitting correctly and turn my focus back to my tablet. The whole point of me coming was so we could put any information Oliver gets from the Mafia into action immediately. It’s a good plan. Brilliant, actually. Except there’s one problem – yes, I can hear them talking, but understanding what the say? Not a clue. I don’t plan on telling Oliver. He’d be pissed that I’d convinced him to let me come for absolutely no reason.

Despite not understanding what he’s saying, just hearing Oliver’s voice is very comforting. It lets me know he’s here. I smile – my knight in shining armor hard at work.

All of a sudden, my instincts kick in. I get that horrible chill down my spine. I slowly turn my head to my right, and the dread hits my whole body.

Two men are right outside my door, one working to unlock it.

“Ah, crap,” I mutter, just loud enough that I hope Oliver hears it.

I start to shift to the driver’s side, to the horn, but to also put some distance between me and them. Mid-way there, I hear the door open, so I kick with all my might – feeling it collide with one of them, and hearing him groan. I flip to sit down sideways across the seat, my back against the door, and my legs partly on the passenger’s seat. One of the men appears in the doorway and I kick him. He sees it coming, though, and grabs my ankle with both his hands. He starts pulling me, trying to drag me across the seats and out. I swing my other foot towards his head as I twist my upper body to my left and slam my hands down on the car’s horn.

I faintly hear Oliver groan, it getting drowned out by the horn. He knows I’m in trouble. I know he’ll be unable to come and get me – it’s too soon, he’s only just gotten in there. We could lose our chance to get the information if he bails now.

The man’s holding both my ankles now, and is pulling as hard as he can. I leave my left hand on the horn and grip the steering wheel with my right. Maybe I can hold on long enough to give Oliver the chance to come and save me.

Then the force of the pulling increases and I know that both men are pulling me. They manage to pull me slightly closer – the first man’s hands hold one of my knees while the other’s holding my other ankle – and I let out a scream as I lose contact with the horn. I grab the wheel with both hands and use all my strength to pull me closer to it. I’m thankful I’ve been doing pull ups on a regular basis. All I can think right now is to keep holding on – Oliver will come. He has to come.

They’re too strong for me. Within a few minutes, they’re pulling me over, my hands ripped from the wheel. I scream, twisting my body from side to side, trying to free my legs. If they’re going to take me, I’m going down as loudly as I can and with a huge fight. They make me stand – one of them pinning me backwards against the car, his hand close to my throat, while the other shuts the door. They may be rough, but at least they’re considerate.

I kick as I throw a punch, but the latter doesn’t land because I stop, feeling the cold metal of a gun’s barrel press against my left temple. That’s when I know I can’t fight anymore. The arm pinning me to the car drops. I see in the dim light the other man grab my right arm and pull me forward. I squirm as he forces my back flush against his front, his right arm hooked around my waist in order to keep me there. Not that I’d get far if I got away from him; his companion’s still aiming a gun at my head. The man behind me runs his other hand over me, speaking in Bosnian. He gropes my breast and I can’t keep the whimper from escaping me. Both men laugh. It’s a sickening sound.

The man behind me turns around, keeping me against him, and forces me towards the door Oliver entered the building through mere minutes ago. At least they’re taking me in there – hopefully Oliver can save me inside.

There’s minimal lighting in the corridor, giving off a creepier vibe than the two men with me. I let out a relieved sigh as the man lets go of me. The relief only lasts a second, for the gun is pressed against my occipital bone. The man pushes the gun harder against me, forcing me to step forward. As I walk down the corridor, I cross my arms and hold my elbows tightly. I pray that Oliver is where we’re going. Or, if not, he can get to me.

I can still hear Oliver’s voice – and am thankful these brutes haven’t noticed my earpiece. He’s speaking Bosnian, but I don’t have to understand it to know he’s angry. He’s fully aware that I’m in trouble and I know it’s killing him to not be able to help me. Although, it’s a mild anger, like he’s trying to hide it.

I focus on his voice as the men take me down several corridors. When we turn into another corridor, Oliver’s voice echoes down its length from the other end, and I barely hide my sigh of relief. They’re taking me to him!

The same brute who held me before grabs my right upper arm roughly, forcing me to uncross my arms. He then pulls me roughly towards a door, and leads me into a brighter lit room. I squint as my eyes adjust to the sudden change in light. When they have, I see that Oliver’s facing away from me as he talks with another man who no doubt is the leader of this section of the Bosnian Mafia.

The man holding me speaks. Oliver spins around so fast at the sound, I expect him to throw one of his knives I know he’s got hidden. I see the devastation in his eyes as he takes me in. A part of him surely believed I’d escaped. Right now, I wish I had.

My eyes drop from his, and I notice his hands are clenched in fists at his side. His anger is brewing under the surface of his calm exterior. We’re in a living nightmare. I lift my eyes back to him, and both of us nearly cry.

“Ostaviti na miru,” Oliver says.

“Ne,” the man beside me replies, before running his other hand over my abdomen.

I let out a loud whimper and try to get away from him, but he holds my arm tighter, and his companion pushes the gun harder against my head, so there’s nothing I can do except stand still. Oliver starts to take a step towards me, protective instincts kicking in, but stops himself. That’s when I realize he can help me more by talking; showing dominance over the men through speech rather than physicality.

“Ostaviti na miru!” Oliver shouts.

The man to my right pauses, his hand still on my abdomen. The Mafia Boss, the one Oliver had been talking to as I arrived, steps closer to Oliver who turns to face him. The two talk in lowered voices for several minutes in Bosnian. I can only assume Oliver’s explaining whatever lie he’s chosen to be the cover for why I’m here.

The man on my right drops his hand from my abdomen, but keeps his tight grip on my arm as he steps behind me. He holds me once more flush against him. My entire focus is on him, all my senses trained on him, wanting to know what he’s going to do next. He starts feeling me up again, his hand this time sliding under the bottom of my top to run his hand over my skin. A strangled cry escapes me, and Oliver’s eyes instantly snap to me.

He barks something in Bosnian to the man, his voice booming through the large room. The man stops moving his hand over me, but it remains under my shirt. Oliver’s jaw tightens, and I know he’s barely stopping himself from attacking the man.

The man behind me finally withdraws his hand from under my shirt, muttering something. I sigh as Oliver relaxes slightly. We both know I’m not safe yet; not until we’re out of here. Oliver makes eye contact with me, silently asking if I’m okay. I curl the corners of my mouth up in a small smile – I’m okay. For now.

My attention snaps back to the man when he lets go of me completely and steps back to my right. His companion is still to my left with his gun aimed at my head. He gets out a knife and starts ripping holes in my jeans and shirt. I’d kick him if it wasn’t for the fact I have a gun pointed at my head. Instead, I simply shut my eyes and cry. I’ve been trying not to get upset, to show any weakness, but this has gone too far.

“Oliver!” I whimper.

Ostaviti na miru!” Oliver yells, his voice booming.

It’s no use – the cutting of my clothes continues. Another choked cry escapes me.

Suddenly it all stops – the gun pressure, the tearing of my shirt – and I’m in a heap on the floor. Startled, I open my eyes to find both men lying on the floor on either side of me. Both are completely still, knives sticking out of them.

 

Oliver’s knives.

Relief sweeps over me – Oliver killed them. I look over to him, expecting him to be crossing to me, or at least looking at me. But he’s talking with the Mafia Boss – both talking fast, angrily, and over one another.

I flinch in fright as Oliver shouts something right in the other man’s face. The latter has been silenced. I stand as Oliver crosses to me.

“Oliver!” I mutter, unable to stop myself from throwing my arms around him and crying into his clothes the second he’s within reach.

He wraps his arms around me and holds me so tightly I can’t breathe. But I really don’t care – he saved me, and I’m safe in his arms.

“Hey…” he whispers. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

I feel him bury his face into the top of my head and let out a sigh. I could stand here in his embrace for eternity.

The sound of the Mafia Boss’ voice coming from close by causes me to gasp. I open my eyes to see him standing near us, looking very angry; flanked by four very tough-looking men.

I curl my fingers, clutching the back of Oliver’s jacket tightly. I’m so scared. I just want this to be all over and to be safely out of here. This is starting to feel more like a nightmare than reality. Is it all just one horrible nightmare??

I feel Oliver lift his head and I know he’s looking at the other man. Oliver says something rather angrily to the Boss, once more speaking in Bosnian. I never realized until tonight how angry Bosnian can sound when you don’t understand it. Oliver releases me from the hug, and I follow suit, even though I really don’t want to let go of him until we’re out of here. Oliver wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me firmly against him so we’re side-by-side, but I’m still under his protection. He’s holding my right shoulder firmer than he normally does, but I don’t care. I’m safe; that’s all that matters right now. He glares at the Mafia Boss for a long moment. He then leads me towards the door, making sure to keep himself between me and the men.

Once we’re out in the corridor, he drops his arm and his hand comes to rest gently on my lower back, as he walks close beside me. We move quickly, both of us wanting to escape this God forsaken hell-hole as soon as possible. I wrap my arms around my middle, feeling so sick and… used. It’s like my dignity’s been ripped completely from me.

Oliver’s hand leaves my back and, before I can wonder why, I feel his jacket gently land over my shoulders. I glance down – he’s draped it over me. I look up to find his eyes on me, and smile my thanks. He smiles back – the first time he’s genuinely smiled tonight.

I slip my arms into his jacket’s sleeves as we turn down the last corridor, before folding one side over the other to close it and cross my arms to keep it shut. I get a whiff of his cologne as I fold it over – it’s a rather comforting smell. We reach the exit and Oliver shoulder shoves the door open and returns his hand to my lower back as I step outside. I catch him looking back down the corridor, checking to see if they’re following, but they’re not. Whatever Oliver’s last words were, they put them off following us.

We cross to our car and he opens my door. He stays by my side until I’m seated and shuts the door for me. I wrap my arms around myself once more, watching him through the windscreen as he walks around the front of our car so quickly he’s almost running. He gets in and has the engine running before his door is shut. He tears off; the tires screeching.

He drives fast until we approach the main road, where there’s more traffic, so he slows down. I watch in the corner of my eye as he glances at me several times.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Do I look okay?”

He sighs. “Point taken.”

I feel guilty for reacting like that to him, especially after he’s just saved me. I guess it’s all just shock. I inhale slowly, hold, and then let it slowly out. “You were right.”

He looks at me, surprised.

“Can you keep your eyes on the road, please?”

He turns his attention back to the road, but I see him clench his jaw in annoyance. This isn’t how this should be going. We shouldn’t be getting mad at each other.

“Right about what?”

“Me not being able to fight them.”

He glances at me, and in that brief moment, I see the sadness in his eyes. “Felicity—”

“They came and unlocked the door, and they… they pulled at me, and I tried so, so hard to stay in the car,” I say, sobbing without tears. “I hit the horn, and I was holding onto the steering wheel, but they… they kept pulling and pulling, and…” I let out a shaky sigh. “They were too strong… they pulled me out. I tried to fight them, but they had the gun, and I—”

The tears begin to fall and my instincts kick in – I close my eyes as I lift my hands up to push my glasses up so I can cover my eyes. I stop when I feel Oliver link his hand with mine. I stare at our linked hands, my lip trembling, and he squeezes it reassuringly.

“You did the best that you could, Felicity.”

“They caught me.”

“Did you see the black eye one of those creeps had? You did that, Felicity.” He squeezes my hand. “Remember that.”

“What did you say?”

He frowns. “When?”

“The whole time.”

His one-handed hold on the wheel tightens and his jaw clenches briefly. “It doesn’t matter.”

Bullshit, Oliver!” I snap. “Whatever you said to them, it saved my life. I was so damn scared in there. My clothes are ruined, and I’m definitely going to be plagued by nightmares about tonight. So screw your ‘it doesn’t matter’ crap.” I pause for a moment, to breathe and to let it sink in. “I deserve to know.”

He doesn’t react immediately. Finally, he sighs. “Initially, I simply said to leave you alone. Ostaviti na miru.” He glances at me, eyes darting back to the road. “Then it took more…” He tightens his hold on the wheel and clears his throat. I wonder what he’s hiding from me. “More than that.”

“I’m starting to feel like you’re not going to tell me the rest.”

“No, I will. I really will.” he replies, taking the moment to look at me. “Before I do, I just want you to know that I only said what I had to. Lying to them was the best way to save you.”

“You have a tendency to lie a fair bit, Oliver. I’m not fazed by that.”

He chuckles. “Damn you.”

“So… what was this lie that you seem so ashamed of telling me?”

He shifts his position on the seat and I wonder if he’s stalling just to make me give up on hearing about it. We slow down and come to a stop at a set of lights – where he surprises me by speaking.

“The first time the leader and I talked after you came in, he asked me why you were so important to me – why I cared so much about his men touching you like that,” he says. I see his jaw’s held tight in the moment he’s not speaking. “I told him that you’re mine…” He looks at me. “Mine.”

It slowly clicks in my mind what he means by ‘mine’. Girlfriend.

“Huh,” I mutter.

“I… it just came out. It was the first thing that sprung to mind. There was no time to think – I had to get you out as fast as I could.”

“Hey,” I reply, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay. I trust you.”

He turns his attention back to the road just as the lights are turning. He stays silent until we’re moving again.

“And then…” He sighs. “The creep had his hand under your shirt and…” He bites back tears. “I snapped. I just…” He sighs again. “I… I couldn’t help it. You… you were upset, and I couldn’t bear to see him touching you like that.” He inhales a long, shaky breath. “I told him I’d find his family and murder them all if he didn’t stop.”

If we weren’t in the car, I’d hug him right now. Instead, I just squeeze his hand.

“He muttered he’d kill me in return, but at least he withdrew… until he started cutting your clothes.” He turns onto another street just a little too quickly. “The leader was furious after I killed his men, though I really don’t blame him. What was said then…” He shakes his head. “I won’t explain. It was… not really something you should hear. A lot of threats and… other things.”

He looks at me. “You needed me and that was all I could focus on. I just wanted them to stop harming you. I killed them to protect you. I threatened their boss to keep you safe.” He looks back at the road. “He wanted to keep talking about it, but I could see you in tears and…” He sighs. “I wanted to hold you.”

My bottom lip trembles. Hearing him say that is so heart-warming – to have him confirm exactly how protective he is of me, it makes every horrible part of tonight wash away.

“Thank you.”

He turns onto another street and then glances at me, frowning. “For what?”

“For everything you did back there,” I reply. “For saying everything you said… be it good or bad.”

“Well, uh…” He clears his throat. “I gotta look after my Girl Friday.”

I can’t stop myself from letting out a chuckle, looking into my lap. “You haven’t called me that for a long time.” I look up at him. “Not since—” I cut myself off, remembering the last time he did – we were on a mission and after defending people at a charity event, he was bleeding out. I nearly lost him then. It’s the most horrible night of my life.

He squeezes my hand tightly, knowing what’s running through my head.

“I haven’t since then because… I’ve been trying to forget most of that night.” He looks at me. “Things have changed since then. You’re more than my Girl Friday.”

I smile. “If I’m not just your Girl Friday… why bring it up now?”

He pulls over and then looks at me. “Because you are so happy whenever I do,” he says. “Tonight’s been hell… okay, worse than hell. I just wanted you to have something from tonight to smile about – something worth remembering.”

I sniffle, and then smile. “You’re my knight in shining armor.”

He smiles. “I’ll always keep you safe.”

I wrap my other hand around his, encasing his within mine. “I’m sorry,” I say. “For being so stubborn about coming. You warned me that they were too dangerous for me to handle, yet I insisted on coming. You had to kill them when it could’ve been a ‘no violence’ meeting.”

“When it comes to the Bosnian Mafia, most meetings are violent,” he replies, an eyebrow raised.

“Yes, but all we needed was information. I really wasn’t required, and I had no idea what the hell was being said Frankly, I just got you into a difficult situation that you had to get us both out of. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he replies in his soothing tone he uses whenever I’m upset.

“It was a mistake.”

“What was?”

“Me. Being here.” I unbuckle my seatbelt. “I shouldn’t have come.” I open my door.

“Felicity!”

I get out and slam the door. In tears, I quickly walk down the sidewalk, catching him out of the corner of my eye as he scrambles out to follow me.

“Felicity!” he calls.

I keep walking, ignoring him. Then I feel his hand on my arm. I twist my arm, trying to shrug him off, but it’s no use.

“Felicity! Please stop!”

“Just… let me go.” I hear him huff, and I know he’s rolling his eyes. And then he steps in front of me, making me stop so fast I nearly topple forward.

I sigh and glare at him. “What?

“Oh, so it’s perfectly fine for you to get upset, blurt out that you think it was a mistake that you came tonight, and then expect me to let you walk through one of the most dangerous suburbs in Starling City on your own this late at night?” he says, so quickly it’s like hearing one of my babbles. “You don’t think I’ll try and stop you?”

“Well… you kinda already have stopped me.”

He sighs, rolling his eyes. “Let’s just get back in the car.”

“No.”

What?” He’s shocked. “Why?”

“Because I screwed up our mission, and… and I don’t want to be around you right now.”

“Hey,” he whispers, cupping my face in his hands. “You didn’t screw up.”

“Did so,” I mumble.

“It was a complication, not a screw-up.”

I scoff. “Yeah, sure.”

“I got the information we needed.”

I widen my eyes. “What?”

“You’ve been so upset – and for very good reasons – and my main focus has been to be here for you. I haven’t had the chance to tell you that before those men brought you into the room, I got the information that we needed.”

I let out a shaky breath. “So… so really had I not got caught by them, you could’ve walked out of there much sooner than you did?”

He rubs both thumbs gently back and forth over my cheeks. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“They couldn’t have taken me if I hadn’t been there.” I push his arms to the side, not expecting him to let me do so. I turn away, and then mumble, “I screwed up.”

He steps around me so we’re facing again. “You, John and I… we’re a team. We’re equals. That means we’re all allowed to go out in the field.”

“You’re the one with more experience dealing with those dangerous situations.”

“Some day, I won’t be around to do all of that ‘Grrr’ stuff.” He even curls his fingers over, making his hands look like claws in between us. The action makes me laugh a little. “You and John need to be getting out there and fighting. Sometimes those situations can be unexpectedly complicated. Tonight—”

“Was a complete disaster.”

He cups my face again with both hands, this time making sure I keep eye contact with him. “Tonight was one of those complicated situations,” he says. “You weren’t to blame.”

I place my hands on his wrists, curling my fingers around his wrists. “I made things worse for you.”

“If anyone’s to blame, it’s those two brutes. They crossed the line,” he replies, gently rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs again. “You fought hard. I heard the whole thing. I’m proud of you.”

“You… you are?”

“Yes. The creep’s black eye proves how well you did.” He smiles. “I let you come because I knew you could handle yourself, and I knew that I’d be there to help you, if you needed me.

“My only regret tonight… is not being able to reach your side sooner. To be there before it got as far as it did.”

I inhale sharply, hold it, and then let it out slowly.

“Come here,” he whispers, pulling me into a hug.

I wrap my arms tightly around him, letting him hold me in his strong arms.

After several minutes of silence, he says, “It’s late. We’ve got to work tomorrow.”

I sniffle as I pull back, nodding. “Yeah.”

He takes me to the passenger side, opening the door for me. I smile in thanks before getting in. He shuts the door and then goes around to his side. He settles in his seat, reaching over and taking hold of my hand once more as he drives off.

“Uh… look…” he says. “Since it’s so late, and my place is closer… uh… why don’t you stay in one of my spare bedrooms tonight. I’ll take you back to your place in the morning.”

I raise my eyebrow. “A part of me is glad you said ‘spare bedroom’.”

He looks at me, one eyebrow raised but smiling. No, smirking. “You and your innuendos.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh, please.”

“What?” he says, trying to hide his laughter. “Come on, I luuuuuuuvvvvvvvve that about you.”

I sit there in stunned silence. He’s never said that before.

He clears his throat. “So… you want to stay at mine tonight?”

“Separate bedrooms, yes.”

“Like I’d try anything with you tonight anyway,” he mutters.

I snort. “Uh-huh. You keep telling yourself that.”

We both laugh.

****

I splash water over my face, letting its coolness wipe away all the terrifying events that I’ve seen and experienced over the last twenty-four hours. I turn off the tap and look up, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

I grab a hand towel and dry my face. It feels weird being in Oliver’s ensuite. Sure, I’ve been in his ensuite before – just not this one. I mean, the only ensuite of his I’ve been in is the one in Verdant. Come to think of it, it’s weird being in Oliver’s apartment. He decided several months ago that he needed his own space – especially being the Green Arrow. Thea was grilling him too much for his liking. Not that moving out seemed to help stop that – it only made her more determined to grill him every time she saw him. She’s even grilling me for information about him.

Oliver had told me I could be in here, to have a shower, but I’m too numb to do it. I’d simply stripped off my clothes – the closest I’ll get right now to forgetting tonight’s events – and cleaned what I could of myself in the basin.

I sigh as I put the hand towel down. I turn to my clothes lying in a pile on the floor, instinctively needing to wear more than my underwear. I pick my shirt up, holding it out in front of me with both hands, and stare at the rips all over it.

“That was one of my favorites,” I mutter.

I pick up my jeans, examining the tears in them. I sigh – was it really necessary to do that? Then I remember what Oliver said after offering me his ensuite – “Feel free to borrow whatever clothes from my wardrobe you want.”

I toss the shirt into the bin – there’s no saving it – and hold onto the jeans. They’re ripped, but I’m sure I can salvage them. I walk into his bedroom, in disbelief that I’m in his bedroom in nothing but my underwear. I stop half-way to his walk-in closet, and stare at the closed door leading out to the main room. He’s out there, and I wonder what he could be doing right now. For a moment I picture him walking in, kissing me passionately, and then carrying me over to the bed. The pleasurable moan I let out snaps me back to reality.

“Don’t be silly, Felicity. He doesn’t see you in that way.”

I continue towards the walk-in closet, but find myself diverting to the door between Oliver and myself. I turn the knob, opening the door slowly to not draw his attention – though I’m sure his freakishly good hearing caught it anyway. I hold it open just far enough to peer out. He’s sitting on his couch, with his back to me, watching the news on TV.

I softly close the door, satisfied that I’ve seen him. I walk across to his walk-in closet – and that’s when it hits me: how completely oblivious I’ve been about his feelings for me. In the four years we’ve known each other, I’ve always assumed he could never love me the way I love him – that he saw me as nothing more than his friend, his ‘Girl Friday’, his go-to woman, the brains behind the Green Arrow missions. Nothing more than a brother looking out for his sister.

It’s been more than that. Okay, it’s taken him longer than the point three seconds it took me to develop a crush after meeting him. But… it’s there. Right?

He killed the Count almost two years ago because the latter was about to inject me with Vertigo. The way he touched my cheek, the way he dismissed his own injury because he was so concerned for me. How did I not notice he was falling for me?

The way he was in the car outside the Mafia tonight – before things went downhill – the way he was so worried for my safety. The way he gently put his hand on my cheek!

No, the way he’s acted with me throughout tonight.

I place my hand on my forehead, letting out a small groan – I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to see this! I always thought the way he acted around me was simply him being friendly. I can’t believe it! He’s fallen for me, the way I’ve fallen for him!

I step into his walk-in closet, and drift my eyes over all his clothes. All of my clothes could fit in here twice and it’d still have spare space. Seriously, who needs one this big? I feel as if it’s too weird wearing any of his clothes. Not that I’m against it – I’m just… it’s just uncomfortable. Even if I’m only going to be seen by him. But the more I think about it, think about Oliver in general, I find myself concluding that maybe I’m just being ridiculous. He wouldn’t tell me to do it if he wasn’t comfortable with it.

I jump as the doorbell echoes through the apartment. Who’s arriving at this time of the night? I turn my attention back to his clothes, to my search for something to wear. That’s when I spot it. Hanging at the end of a row, tucked away in the corner, easy to miss. I smile in disbelief that I’d forgotten about it. Oliver’s emerald green jumper. I’ve worn it once before – when Oliver was in the hospital after what happened at that charity event. At the time, Oliver had given me his spare key so I could come here to get things for him, or if I needed somewhere to crash for a night, since his place is much closer to the heart of the city than mine. Something drew me here. I can’t explain it, but I needed to be here to feel close to him. It was late at night when I came, well after the hospital’s visiting hours ended and I couldn’t actually be with him. I’d come to his bedroom, seeking his bed. All of this now sounds crazy, I know, but I just felt comfort. I haven’t told him I came that night and I don’t know if I will. I curled up in his bed and slept. When I woke in the morning, that’s when I saw the jumper. It was lying on the end of the bed, bunched up like he’d taken it off and had dumped it there. I picked it up and instinctively smelt it. Creepy, I know. But it smelt of him. What did I do? I wore it. Not just while I was in his apartment. No, I wore it outside.

I drop my jeans on the floor. I gently take the jumper off the hanger, and pull it on. It’s soft, well-worn, and comfortable. I check myself in the mirror – his jumper’s so long, it’s almost halfway down my thighs. It’s like an over-sized long-sleeved dress. Then again, I’m rather petite compared to Oliver. Petite and quite a fair bit shorter than him.

As I stare at myself in the mirror, I decide that this is all I’m going to wear. Just this emerald green jumper. It’s a bold move, but hey, why not? It might just help me find a way to open up to Oliver – to tell him how I feel. It’s not until my hand is on the bedroom door that I remember hearing the doorbell. What if he has a visitor?

I open the door enough for me to peep out. He’s not on the couch anymore. I wait, listening for any voices, but all I hear is the TV. I open the door wider and step out. I pause, listening, while ready to duck back into his bedroom. We’re alone – so it’s time to bite the bullet and do this. I close the bedroom door, before taking tentative steps towards the lounge. A minute ago I was confident about coming out here like this. Now that it’s come down to it, I’m not so sure.

I stop in the archway into the lounge – and that’s when our eyes meet. He’s walking away from the front door headed for the couch, holding take-away Chinese food. That explains the doorbell! I watch as his eyes drift down, noticing what I have on, and his mouth drops open slightly. It snaps shut and he swallows. He is in love with me.

He dumps the food on the coffee table and then comes around to me. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it before – the love in his eyes every time he looks at me. I smile and he smiles back.

“I got us some food.”

I step closer, getting so close our faces are inches apart. “Uh-huh,” I airily reply.

There’s a moment where we both just look into each others’ eyes. He then cups my head, leans in, and kisses me. I kiss him back, finally setting my emotions free – opening my mouth to deepen it, our tongues rolling over each other. I grab his shirt with both hands, curling my fingers until I have them in tight fists. It’s such an incredible feeling finally kissing him.
He breaks our kiss, and I stop myself from chasing him. I know he wouldn’t stop unless it was necessary. He looks into my eyes, and for the first time I love the bright blue of his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispers. “I have since I met you.”

My bottom lip trembles as my eyes fill with tears. I can’t believe he’s finally confessing it! “I love you, too, Oliver.”

He smiles, before reclaiming my lips in another kiss. As our kisses turn into rough, passionate kisses, I take a step back, pulling him with me. The next thing I know my back hits the bedroom door. Damn! Forgot that I closed it. Oliver drops his left hand from my head, and seconds later the door’s opening. I let go of his shirt, slide my hands up his chest, and wrap my arms around his neck.

I start to step back, but he pulls me back to him. He easily lifts me up – an advantage of his strength – and I instinctively wrap my legs around him. We continue to kiss. I run a hand up into his hair as he walks over to his bed. He kneels on the bed and lowers me until I’m lying on my back with him on top.

He pulls back, supporting his weight above me with his right hand on the bed just next to my left shoulder. God, I love it when he unintentionally shows off his strength.

“For the record,” he says, “that suits you better than it does me.”

I smile, and pull his head back down to me, kissing him again.

I don’t know why I waited so long to do this.

—————————————————————–

Well, that’s it. Please comment.

You can find me on Twitter — @LandJrule — or Tumblr (arrow-olicitylover)

New Olicity Art

I made these over the last 24 hours. Both are inspired by my favourite songs.

As usual, I ask that if you’re going to use them PLEASE credit me — even just this blog. Thanks 🙂

 

The first has lyrics from ‘She Said’ by Sam Clark. Listen to the song here.

She Said- Olicity

And the second has lyrics from ‘Loveless’ by Ben Hazlewood. You can view the video for it here.

So Loveless

Olicity Art — 2×06 “Keep Your Enemies Closer”

To celebrate the fact that there’s NEW OLICITY PHOTOS! I thought I’d whip this little piece up. (And, to be honest, I’m trying to keep myself busy while ‘League of Assassins’ airs in the US)

PLEASE ASK ME FOR PERMISSION TO REPOST THESE! Thanks 🙂

Olicity in Russia, from 'Keep Your Enemies Closer' Photos: (bottom two) Diyah Pera/The CW  & (top photo) Stephen Amell; 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Olicity in Russia, from ‘Keep Your Enemies Closer’. Photos: (bottom two) Diyah Pera/The CW & (top photo) Stephen Amell; 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Olicity in Russia, from 'Keep Your Enemies Closer'. Photos: (bottom two) Diyah Pera/The CW  & (top photo) Stephen Amell; 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Olicity in Russia, from ‘Keep Your Enemies Closer’. Photos: (bottom two) Diyah Pera/The CW & (top photo) Stephen Amell; 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

2×06 ‘Keep Your Enemies Closer’ Promotional Photos

Please note these aren’t the full set of 27 photos released! These are just a handful of them. For the full set, http://www.greenarrowtv.com/arrow-2-6-keep-your-enemies-closer-official-promotional-images/15676

And the episode description:

Amanda Waller sends A.R.G.U.S. agents to kidnap Diggle. Waller informs Diggle that Lyla has gone missing after following a lead on Deadshot in Moscow. When Diggle tells the team he’s headed to Russia to rescue Lyla, Oliver and Felicity decide to join, but things get messy when Isabel shows up on the tarmac and insists on joining Oliver’s “work trip”. Meanwhile, Moira’s lawyer, Jean, tells Thea that dating Roy, a known criminal, is hurting her mother’s case.

The following photos are of Oliver and Felicity in Russia — many also feature guest star David Nykl as Anatoli Knyazev. If you’re as eagle-eyed as I am, you’ll realize that Nykl has already been in this season of Arrow. But I won’t give that away.

The episode is set to air in the US November 20th 2013.

Pictured (L-R): Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen, Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak, and David Nykl as Knyazev — Photo: Diyah Pera/The CW — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Pictured (L-R): Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen, Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak, and David Nykl as Knyazev — Photo: Diyah Pera/The CW — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Pictured (L-R): Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen, Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak, and David Nykl as Knyazev — Photo: Diyah Pera/The CW — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Pictured (L-R): Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen, Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak, and David Nykl as Knyazev — Photo: Diyah Pera/The CW — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Pictured (L-R): Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen and Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak — Photo: Diyah Pera/The CW — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Pictured (L-R): Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen and Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak — Photo: Diyah Pera/The CW — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

^ HE’S TOUCHING HER SHOULDER! My shipper heart just melted!

The next photo is of just Oliver (Stephen Amell). I’ve included this as its from the same scene as the rest of these photos, as well as the fact that  — well, who could resist posting this shot? I mean, come on! The guy’s looking pissed off at something!

Pictured: Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen — Photo: Diyah Pera/The CW — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Pictured: Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen — Photo: Diyah Pera/The CW — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

And finally…

This photo isn’t from the official episode stills. Stephen Amell posted this several months ago — as a little teaser on his social media sites. It was unclear back then which episode it belonged to (especially since Stephen avoided stating it). But now we know that its part of this episode. So I thought I’d add it in with these photos.

Pictured (L-R): Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen and Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak — Photo: Stephen Amell — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Pictured (L-R): Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen and Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak — Photo: Stephen Amell — � 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

That’s Your Honesty

That's Your Honesty -- an Olicity Fic Cover

That’s Your Honesty by LandJrule
Words: 6, 299 (approx.)
First Published on LiveJournal: 7/08/2013 (Australian East Coast Time)
Republished on WordPress: 6/11/2013 (Australian East Coast Time)
Pairing: Oliver/Felicity
Characters: Oliver, Felicity, Diggle. And my own character, known simply as ‘the man’, cos really he’s not worth naming properly.
Season/Episode: Late Season 1, somewhere post Episode 14.
Synopsis: Be honest with the ones you care about the most. Because they just might not be around forever. [Chaos ensues when Oliver and Felicity attend an event in order to prevent a man from attacking innocent people. And it leads to the most unexpected confessions from Oliver and his geeky, loveable blonde I.T girl.]
Rating: M (for the minor coarse language, and sexual references throughout.)
Author’s Note: This is something I whipped up over the last few days. I really wasn’t expecting it to be as long as it was, but I let it run its course because who can stop a muse when it’s going along really well? I know I can’t. Hell, I stayed up till 1AM the last few nights cos of it.
AN 2: Oh, and please forgive me if I’ve spelt anything the Australian way. Just habit. Have tried to pick up on all of them and make sure that it’s the American spelling (since they’re all American characters) but I may have missed some.
Enjoy, and please comment!
AN 3: I wrote this before ‘Heart Hypnotic’, & it’s been up on my LiveJournal since I didn’t have this blog then. I’ve been meaning to put it on here for a while, but haven’t had the time to till now! But here it is. Finally!
Disclaimer: just the usual I don’t own it stuff.

———————————————————————————————————————————–

I could watch him do this forever.
He always surprises me when he does that – the ‘salmon ladder’, he calls it, not that I really understand how his movement could be called that — the way he can move himself vertically up with such ease. And it’s transfixing. It also doesn’t help that he’s shirtless whenever he does it.
“Felicity?”
“Yes?”
“Is it done?”
I blink three times, trying to recall what ‘it’ is. “What’s done?”
Diggle steps in front of me, blocking my view of Oliver, and I have no choice but to look at him. His arms are crossed, and he looks unimpressed.
“You’re aware he doesn’t do it just so you can watch.” Diggle quietly says so Oliver doesn’t hear. “He’s training.”
“So?”
“So… How’s that research going?”
I clear my throat, and push my glasses further up my nose with a finger. Neither was required, I just did them to buy me a moment to gather my thoughts. Right, the research… What research?
My confusion must be all over my face, for Diggle leans forward, and places a hand on the back of my chair. He spins me around, away from Oliver, to face the three computer screens on the desk. Diggle then shifts to look over my right shoulder, as I look at the various files open across all three screens.
“Ah, yes, the research.”
“How’s it going?” He’s trying not to smile.
“Uh…” I scan the text in the file open at the front of the middle screen, hoping to get an answer. “It’s coming along… slowly.”
“Anything we can use?” Oliver asks.
“Oh!” I gasp, jumping slightly, suddenly aware that Oliver’s to my left, his face just inches from mine. He’s good at the stealth walk, that’s for sure. I gulp, suddenly put off by how close he is to me – his face covered with sweat from his workout.
“Well, I… I…” I stammer. “I’m going to have to go through it and determine whether it’s useable or not.”
I watch as Oliver lowers his eyebrows into a frown. He doesn’t often frown at me. Normally, if I say something he doesn’t understand, he simply stares blankly at me. Or raises an eyebrow.
“You haven’t been doing that as you find it?”
“God, you can be intimidating sometimes.” I grimace, realizing how stupid that was to say. “I’m sorry, Oliver. I shouldn’t have said that.”
He smiles. That’s another rare thing he does.
“Uh… I input a search, and I get a lot of data back immediately.” I say, hoping I can say an explanation without revealing that I was distracted by him. “It takes me a while to go through all of that. It may look simple, but it’s quite a lot to read through. And then there’s making sense of some aspects of it, determining whether it’s beneficiary to what we do…”
His smile grows, and I know I’m beginning to babble. The way he’s looking at me right now, I get the feeling he’s dropped his walls that he’s had to hide his feelings behind and I swear he’s thinking of saying something to me – like a compliment or something. But his eyes dart up, to look over my head, and I know he’s just remembered Diggle is with us. When he looks back at me, his expression has changed – and the walls are back up.
He clears his throat, and he places a hand on my shoulder as he straightens up. “Uh… good work, Felicity.”
My eyes drift to his hand on my shoulder, which he’s slightly squeezing. I don’t want him to withdraw it. I like it when he touches my shoulder. It’s the closest thing to affection he’s done towards me more than once.
He withdraws it, and I look up at him – maybe he thinks I don’t like it. I tilt my head sideways, my lips pursed tight – as I had during our first meeting. He never fails to smile at this, and I know it’s a genuine smile – not one of those forced ones.
He then walks off, and I turn my chair to keep watching him as he crosses the room and picks up his shirt. I’m a little disappointed to see him put it on, but I know he only walks around with it off when he’s in the middle of a training session.
Diggle clears his throat, and I jump – covering it by spinning back round to the computers. It’s so easy to forget that Diggle’s here sometimes. He’s just so quiet.

Two hours later, and I’m still sifting my way through the research. I sigh, leaning back into my chair – this is going to take a while. I look at all the pieces of paper spread over the desk, all my notes made from said research. I look up to see what Oliver’s doing. He’s across the room, speaking with Diggle. I’d try to listen in, but they’re too far away from me. I’d try to lip read but one, I suck at it, and two, Oliver’s standing with his back to me. Whatever it is they’re talking about, it must be serious – Diggle’s frowning slightly.
Diggle says something, and then turns and walks off to the stairs leading up to the exit. I watch both men – Diggle leaves as Oliver watches. In fact, Oliver doesn’t move an inch until Diggle shuts the door and the security switch is reset. And as soon as there’s the ‘click’, Oliver turns around. I jump in fright as I realize he’s facing me, and I quickly turn my attention to the computer screens, pretending I’ve been looking at them the whole time.
He rests his hands on the desk, and looks down at me from above the computer screens. I try hard not to look at him, but I cave. And damn, he looks so cute. And he’s not even doing anything – just looking at me. Not even a smile.
“Oliver.”
“Fe-lisss-ity.”
I raise my eyebrow – why did he say my name like that?
“You’ve been at that for a while. Go home.”
“I’m not tired.”
He smiles. “Wasn’t suggesting you were. Just stating you should give yourself a break.”
“And what if there’s information in here that identifies plans for something to happen and you miss the chance to go prevent it from happening because I stopped before I found it for you?” I say so quickly, I’m out of breath.
He smiles, trying hard to suppress a laugh. I’m babbling again.
“Do I have to carry you out of here?”
I raise both eyebrows. “Would you?”
Confusion flashes across his face. And there I go, putting myself in a stupid position with what I say. God! I need to start thinking through what I’m going to say to him before I actually say it.
And now it’s completely awkward between us. He’s standing straight now, looking like he has no idea what to do or what to say.
“You know what? You’re right. I’m going to leave… Now.”
This seems to come as a relief for him. He nods. “Good.”
I switch the three computer screens off, and stand. I then grab my things and head for the door. “Goodnight, Oliver.”
“Goodnight, Felicity.”
I start climbing the stairs in silence. I’m halfway up the stairs when, “Felicity.”
“Hmmm?” I stop and turn around.
I watch him cross to the stairs, and he climbs them two at a time to get to me, stopping on the step two down.
“Uh… I’ve been thinking.”
I narrow my eyes. “Thinking.”
“About my next mission.”
“Ah-huh,” I reply, slowly.
“It’s going to require that I attend an event.”
“Right.” That’s it, Felicity. One word responses. There’s no chance of putting your foot in your mouth that way, is there?
“And I was wondering if you’d…” He pauses, thinking. His eyebrow rises slightly, before he adds, “join me?”
I gape. I then subconsciously tilt my head to my left, narrowing my eyes. “Oliver Queen, are you asking me out on a date?”
His eyes widen, and it takes him a moment to respond. “Did it come off as me asking you out?”
“Would I ask if it hadn’t?”
“Cause I didn’t mean it to.”
Liar. I nod. “Well,” I push my glasses further up my nose. “Forget I pointed it out.” I turn and climb a few steps, before remembering I didn’t answer his original question. I turn back, finding he’s watching me. “And yes, I will.”
A smile creeps onto his face, and I can tell he’s trying hard to hide it. He nods. “Good.”
I nod. “Good.”
“Night, Felicity.”
“Night, Oliver.”
He turns around and walks back down the stairs. I turn around, shut my eyes and sigh. I then open my eyes and continue up the stairs.

I chew on my pen, working hard. Not on anything for Oliver. No, I have to work my day job – I.T. girl at Queens Consolidated. I can’t believe I still work there, after all Mrs Queen has done…
I jump when my cell buzzes. I pick it up to find a text from Oliver – Event tonight. Be here by 8.
“Still blunt as always.” I mutter.
I reply with ‘Okay’ and hit send, before turning back to my work. I find what I was doing, and barely get back to work before my cell buzzes. I pause, wondering whether to leave it for a while. Yes, leave it. I keep working, but the fact I have a message waiting soon gets to me – so much I can’t focus on my work.
I check the message. Oliver again – I’ve got you a dress. I hope that’s okay.
I smile as I reply; You can dress or undress me anytime.
And it’s sent before I realize what I’ve written. I groan, touching my forehead as I close my eyes. Before I can type another text apologizing for that, I receive another text.
Oliver’s responded, with a simple ???
So I respond: Oh Gosh! I’m sorry. So, so sorry! My brain thinks of the worst way to say things.
And what does he respond with? Nothing. Either he doesn’t know what to respond with, or he hasn’t seen it yet.

I arrive at the Arrowcave right on 8 pm. Oliver’s sitting on one of his desks, looking really smart in a suit with a tie. Huh, so it must be a pretty formal event if he’s wearing a tie. We don’t speak until I’ve crossed to him and am standing right in front of him. “Can I just start off with apologizing for my text message? I really didn’t mean to do that. It just came out and I didn’t think it through until it was already sent and –”
“Felicity.”
I nod. “And I’m babbling again.”
“It’s okay. We all make mistakes.”
I smile. “Uh… where… where’s my dress?”
He points with one finger to my right, indicating a small room coming off this main room.
“Right,” I reply, with a nod. “Shan’t be long.”
I walk away, and I know he’s watching me. I can feel it.

We walk in together, Oliver confidently while I’m more hesitant. In fact, I stop a few steps into the room, looking around and thinking how out of place I am here. There’s no doubt all these men and women are from rich families. And me? Ha, I’m nothing compared to them.
Feeling Oliver take hold of my hand snaps me from my thoughts. I look at him, and I know he’s wondering what I’m thinking.
“I’m most likely the one with the least amount of money here.”
He leans in closer, and says, “Don’t let that get to you, Felicity. What you do is worth so much more than all their money combined.”
I smile, floored by his comment. And he smiles back. I let him lead me across to a table near the edge of the room. A waiter carrying a tray of champagne filled glasses happens to come past us, and Oliver takes two of the glasses. He hands one to me, and we both smile as I take it.
“Cheers,” he says.
“Cheers,” I reply, clinking my glass against his.
We both take a sip, and then Oliver scans the room.
“You know this will be a lot easier if you just relax a bit.”
He looks at me – that slight glare he gets when he disagrees with me. “I’ll relax when I get this guy out of the picture.”
“Well, we’re at an event. Try not to look so serious. Smile for once, Oliver.”
That just makes the glare come at me more intense. I just can’t get it right with him, can I? So I just stare back, making sure he knows he can’t intimidate me with that stare anymore.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to come.”
My left eye twitches at that, and I clench my jaw to stop myself from firing back a harsh response. But it gets out anyway. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said yes.”
There’s a moment where he looks hurt, and then he looks away. He doesn’t often show his feelings – I suppose whatever he went through on the island has led him to suppress all emotions. I let out a quiet sigh, knowing that we’re in for a long night.

Two hours after we arrived, Oliver is still looking out for the man that we want. And the tension between us is still so intense, we haven’t talked more than a few words in those two hours. I absentmindedly start strumming three of my fingers on the table, restless and bored by all this waiting.
Oliver sighs. He then reaches across the table, placing his hand on top of mine to stop me. My eyes instantly focus on his hand on top of mine. He’s touching me! He’s actually touching me!
“Felicity.”
“I’m sorry.” I drag my eyes from his hand up to look at his face. “I’m just really bored.”
“Find another way of entertaining yourself. One that’s not so annoying.”
I raise an eyebrow. And to think I say stupid things… I open my mouth, ready to respond, but then I spot him – the man we’ve been waiting for. “Oliver.”
“I get it, Felicity. You’re bored.”
“No! I mean, yes, but… he’s here.”
Oliver stiffens. “You sure?”
I nod.
“Where?”
I look from Oliver to the man, and nod in that direction. Oliver casually turns around, unfortunately taking his hand off mine, and somehow manages to check out our guy without it making it obvious he is.
The man walks further into the room, and Oliver and I watch him. And then the worst thing happens – the man spots us. I look away, trying hard to hide my shock, and decide my glass of champagne is far more interesting. Then Oliver’s hand comes to rest on my shoulder.
“Are you okay, Felicity?”
I look up, to find he’s moved closer so he’s right beside me, and he’s staring. But it’s not just any stare – he’s frowning slightly, in concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little put off by the fact that he’s staring at us.” I glance over at the man, whose still watching us. I return my gaze to Oliver, and add, “Constantly.”
“So?”
Urgh! Why is he so calm about this?
So?” I repeat, shocked. “Doesn’t it bother you that he’s watching us?”
He looks blankly at me.
“Oliver! Don’t do that!”
“Look, if you’re going to keep coming out in the field with me, you’ve got to suck it up. Things will get very uncomfortable, and there’s not much space for you to get all freaked out.” He replies. “Now, most likely he’s just scoping out whose here. There’s nothing to indicate that he knows who we are, that we’re a threat.”
“And what if he does know?”
“Just relax, Felicity. Okay?”
I look at him unimpressed. “Says he whose been tense all night.”
The corners of his lips go up in a small smile, before he turns his attention back to watching our target. I look from Oliver to the man, and I know that they’re staring at each other. We’re totally screwed.
With the tension building, I know for sure that if it keeps going, things could escalate and a fight could break out. We need a distraction. And fast.
I pick up my glass, and skull the rest of the champagne. I place the glass back on the table and mutter, “Oh, please forgive me.”
“What?” Oliver looks at me, confused.
I get up on my tip-toes – because even in heels I’m still massively short next to him – and kiss him. This has taken him by surprise, so he doesn’t react for a moment. But when he does, he surprises me by kissing back so passionately, I have to up my end. He hooks an arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him as his other hand gently holds the back of my head. I’m so thrown by his actions, the only thing I can do is hold his jacket in tight fists.
We get so caught up in the kiss, it takes us a while to break it. We both look at each other, faces an inch apart, both surprised at what we’d just done. And then we hear a blood-curdling scream.
Oliver instantly lets go of me, and we look off in the direction of the scream. We then look at each other. I nod, giving a hand gesture to indicate for him to go do his thing. He looks at me differently now – almost like he’s considering staying – before he nods and hurries off.
I watch him disappear out of my sight before letting out a sigh. “I can’t believe I just did that,” I mutter.
“And he’s going to not believe that he left your side after that delightful display of affection.”
I slowly turn around, to find the man we’re after standing right behind me. Oh, crap.
He’s killed a young woman,” Oliver’s voice comes through my earpiece.
“And to think I didn’t think I’d have something pretty to play with,” he says.
He pulls out a gun, aims it at the ceiling, and fires three shots. After the first shot, everyone in the room is in panic. All hell’s breaking out, and here I am without Oliver to protect me.
Felicity?” Oliver asks, and I can hear he’s very worried.
And then it dawns on me – I have no way of letting him know what’s going on.
Everyone around us is scrambling to get as far away from us as possible, while the man just stares rather a little too intently at me.
I close my eyes, and whisper, “Oh, please come back, Oliver.” I then hiss, “Pleeeassssse.”
I hear the familiar whoosh that comes when one of Oliver’s arrows whizzes past. I open my eyes, and find that indeed I was right – an arrow is sticking out of the wall to my right, its trajectory no doubt went between me and the man. Clearly a warning shot. And the man knows it – for he grabs me, pulls me against him so my back’s against him and wraps his arm tight around my neck, putting me in a headlock. So I’m officially a hostage now. Fantastic! Can I just go back in time to before this all happened? When tonight was as boring as hell? No, wait… if this guy hadn’t turned up, I wouldn’t have kissed Oliver…
And that’s when I notice the man’s pointing his gun at Oliver, whose standing in the doorway in his Hood outfit with an arrow pointed at the man.
“Let her go,” Oliver says, his voice deeper thanks to his device that disguises his voice.
“I dare you to shoot me,” the man replies. “Can you do it without harming the girl?”
Oliver’s grip on his bow tightens. He’s fighting back his anger. What was it he told me? You have to be relaxed to be able to shoot an arrow. And so I mentally pray he doesn’t get caught up in his anger. Because my life depends on it.
The man laughs. “What? You can’t shoot me without harming her? So the vigilante isn’t as great as the people think.”
In a flash, Oliver changes where he’s aiming, and shoots. It hits the man’s leg. The man groans, but squeezes his arm around my neck. And I can’t help but shout out in pain.
Oliver reacts in a second – he draws another arrow, loads it, and lets it loose. And it meets its target – the man’s right hand. The man shouts, and shoves me aside. I scream as I fall to the floor, followed closely by a groan once I’ve hit the floor. I roll myself onto my back and sit up, in time to see Oliver land his first blow on the man – a high kick to the man’s abdomen. The two fight for several minutes, each getting in successful blows. Oliver surprises me by leaping up high, kicking his legs out powerfully till they collide with the man’s chest. The man is forced to the ground, while Oliver lands perfectly upright. Oliver then steps over to the man, stands beside him, and then aims an arrow at him.
“That good enough aim for you?” Oliver asks.
“Go on. If you’re going to do it, then do it. Get it over and done with.”
The sound of police sirens interrupts the conversation. For a moment.
“Get up,” Oliver says, and I can hear how aggressive that was.
The man sits up and edges back, to put a bit of space between him and The Hood/Oliver. He then stands. And, to my surprise, Oliver lowers his bow. He then holds his bow and arrow in his left hand, turns and takes one step away from the man like he’s leaving. The man starts laughing – until Oliver whips around, and punches the man – who collapses to the ground unconscious.
“Killing you wouldn’t bring justice. Instead the police can deal with you,” Oliver says to the man, despite knowing full well the man’s unconscious. God, I love it when he does that.
Oliver walks over to me, and holds out his hand. I take it, and pulls me to my feet with ease.
“Are you hurt?” He asks, his voice back to normal. He’s still holding my hand.
I nod. He then turns and leads me out – still holding my hand – and we sneak out the back just as the police are entering the building.
“Let me guess, Detective Lance is leading the cavalry.”
“Well I’m just glad you saved me.”
Oliver pushes his hood back, exposing his face. “Yeah, well, I can’t go without my ‘Personal Internet Researcher’, can I?”
I smile, my heart melting. “You remembered that?”
“I remember everything you say.”
Tears fill my eyes. But we’re at risk of being found by the police here. So we sneak off to his car. I drive while Oliver changes back into his suit in the back – I try hard to resist the urge to watch him in the rear-view mirror, especially when he’s shirtless.

Oliver escorts me from his car to my apartment. I open the door, and he follows me in.
“Sorry for the mess. I wasn’t expecting to have company over any time soon.”
He leans in closer, “You should see my room.”
Stunned, I swallow and push my glasses back up my nose. He takes my purse, leaning closer as he reaches around me to put it on a table. And all I can think about is kissing him again.
He straightens, before saying, “Felicity.”
“Y-y-yes, Oliver.”
“Why did you kiss me?”
I gape at him, shocked to hear him query me about it. “Uh… to… uh… we needed a distraction. You were in no position to take him on then. You needed to be armed.”
He steps even closer, so I have to tilt my head back to be able to look at him. My heart beats faster, and my breathing quickens – this is getting all too much.
“Any… other… reason?” He whispers.
I tilt my head to my left, my lips pursed tight and blink several times at him. He looks down at me, and smiles, trying hard not to laugh at me.
“I have a confession,” he whispers.
I tilt my head back up straight, and then raise both eyebrows. “Really?”
He nods. “I’m glad that you did.”
“Did what?”
He cups my face with both hands and leans his face in closer, till our faces are inches apart. He then whispers, “This.”
He closes the small gap, claiming my lips with his. It’s just like it felt when we kissed earlier tonight, except we’re now not in danger and we’re alone. I don’t know what I should do with my hands, so I just do what I did last time and hold his jacket. Our tongues clash as we let our need for each other take over.
He breaks the kiss, turns around and takes several steps away from me. “I… This… This can’t happen.”
“Oliver?” That’s all I can say right now. He was so into it only moments ago – what the hell has changed?
He doesn’t even look at me when he says, “I… I’ve got to go. Goodnight, Felicity.”
I’m too in shock to say anything. I just stand there and watch him leave.
“What the…?” I mutter.
I turn, kick off my heels, and head for my bedroom. I can’t believe he’d just do that to me! I’m going to leave it for tonight. But I’m going to give him a piece of my mind about it tomorrow. “Oh, you better watch out, Oliver Queen. I’m going to unleash hell on you tomorrow.”
I get one heel into my bedroom when there’s a knock on my door. I stop, mid-step, wondering who the hell would turn up at almost midnight. I slowly turn around, and cross back to my front door. I open the door…
Oliver?” I ask, surprised to see him again.
“I came back to apologise, Felicity. That was… stupid of me.”
“You’re preaching to the Queen of saying stupid things.”
He smiles, laughing slightly. It’s nice to see that smile again – it’s his genuine smile, not the forced one he gives evryone else. Only Diggle and I see this smile – other than Thea. And I know it’s a sign of affection. “That’s very true.”
“Oh, nice to see the support there. Jeez, thanks Oliver.”
His smile widens. “But that’s one of your best qualities. I love it when you speak honestly to me. I wish I could do the same for you.”
“Oh, wow. I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Wow, now that’s a first. Normally you have plenty to say.”
I give him my I’m-not-impressed-with-you look, and then I start to shut the door on him. He smiles, and puts his hand out to stop my door.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” He says. “I mean it. I’m sorry. For everything.”
I pause, thinking it through. I then push the door back open so it’s wide enough for us to see each other properly.
He looks down at the floor. “I… I think it’s time for me to start speaking honestly with you.”
“Oliver, look at me.” He does. “You already do.”
“Not as much as you do with me.”
I smile. “It’s enough for me. I’ve never been through anything close to what you went through. I don’t think anyone could experience what you did in those five years on that island. But I do understand that those five years have made you build walls to protect your feelings from those around you.”
I see the pain in his eyes, and I know he’s remembering his time on the island.
“I can see the good in you, Oliver. Yes, I originally thought the Hood was a criminal, but that was before I knew he was you. You’ve let me into your world, let me know your secret. What I’m saying is you don’t have to think you’re not being honest towards me. Because you are.
Everything you do as the Hood… that’s your honesty.”
He exhales sharply, fighting back tears. He looks to either side, and even the floor as he struggles through his emotions. He’s never been like this in front of me. Okay, sure he’s been upset about failing one of his missions, but… this is different. This is so much more than him feeling like a failure.
“Oliver—”
That’s all I get out before he closes the gap and kisses me again. I’m too stunned by his constant change of mind to kiss him back. In fact, I push him away. It takes me two tries, given that he’s bigger than me, and he looks a little shocked.
“What the fuck, Oliver?!” I snap. “You can’t act like you want me, kiss me, leave me, come back, tease me, and then kiss me again! It’s down right unfair!
He stands there, and takes the full force of my anger. I can see it in his expression that he knows he deserves every bit of it.
“I have done so much for you. I’ve kept your secret for you, I’ve helped you break God knows how many laws in order for you to do The Hood thing, and how do you repay me? By infuriating me after I’ve just spent all night at some lousy event with you where I was held and nearly killed by some gun-toting idiot! My life was so much safer without Oliver Queen risking it.” I slap his arm, not that he flinches at it – strong bastard. “You can’t mess with other people’s feelings, Oliver. You can’t drag them around like they’re one of your toys. It just doesn’t work that way.
You’re not on that island anymore, Oliver. You are in Starling City, with the rest of civilization. Start treating people with a bit more respect, before they all leave you. Because you have a good heart, Oliver. I know you do. But you’ve got to stop before it’s too late. Because if you don’t, there’s going to be a day where you’ll find you have no one.”
I expected he’d respond to me, have some hit back ready to go the second I stopped. But he doesn’t speak. He just stands there, taking it all. And looking at me like he’s a puppy being told off.
“Oh, don’t do that, Oliver. Don’t look at me like that.” I snap. “It’s late, I’m tired. And I have to go work for your Mom, not that I enjoy working for her. Now, I’m going to go to bed. Please leave, and close the door behind you.”
I turn sharply around, and take a few steps away from him. I can’t be around him right now.
“Felicity, wait.” He grabs my arm.
I spin around to face him. “What?” I snap, tears brimming my eyes.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Oh, sure.”
He presses his lips together, making them form a thin line – he’s definitely holding back his own anger. Although, it might just be frustration. But he’s deserved every angry thing I’ve said to him.
“You’re completely right about me, Felicity. Yes, I’ve been through hell for five years. Yes, I’ve had my moments of being a jerk to those around me. And I hate myself every time I push the people I care about away. I’ve had to rely on myself and myself alone to survive on that island, so it’s going to take some time for me to adjust to having people around me again.”
Damn it, Oliver. Why can’t you let me be angry at you without guilting me into forgiving you right away?
“I know what you’ve done for me, and I know I often get you to go beyond what’s lawful—”
Often? Try always.”
He smiles slightly. “And I owe you so much more than I could ever give back to you in one lifetime. And I think that’s why I often am a jerk to you. Because I feel like I shouldn’t be so lucky to have you around.” His lips form that thin line again. “I owe you my life. Without your brains I wouldn’t have been able to do half of what I’ve done since I let you in on my secret.” He smiles. “Hell, I owe my life to you just for helping me out that night.”
“Is there a point to this? Because you’re starting to hurt my arm and frankly, I’d rather be in bed right now.”
“Since my father’s boat sank, and I’ve been stuck on that island… I haven’t ever needed someone as much as I do with you, Felicity.” He sighs. “You… you bring out the best in me. In a way that no one else can. Not my family, not Tommy, not Laurel… not even Diggle. And I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I’m sorry for every moment that I’ve hurt your feelings. But I worry about you. I’m scared that… by letting you know my secret, I’ve put you in grave danger. And I’m scared that one day I won’t be around to protect you.
So I get overprotective of you. That’s just how it is with me. I care to much for you, Felicity. And I feel that, because I owe you so much for what you’ve done for me – for what you’ll always do for me – the least I can do is make sure you stay safe.”
I just look at him, unsure what to do or say. And I know he’s being completely honest with me.
“I know that I… I won’t be able to make it up to you right away for giving you mixed signals tonight. But I don’t want you to go to sleep without knowing two things.”
I swallow. Then nod. “Go on.”
“One – ever since you kissed me at the event tonight, I’ve… I’ve been so confused about my feelings. I’ve just been so… overwhelmed.” He says. “And I think I’ve finally figured out why. Why I let myself owe my life to you, why I feel like I need to be so overprotective of you.”
Whoa! Information overload! “And… And wha-whah… why my that be?”
He licks his lips. And suddenly I notice how much his behavior’s changed. He’s not frustrated or angry with me. No, he’s… nervous?
“I… I… I love you.”
All I can do is stare wide-eyed at him, mouth hanging open in shock. Holy mother of God! Did I hear him right? Did he really just say that?
He lets go of my arm as he turns away, and heads for the door. I stand there, watching him leave as I rush through in my mind what I’ve just heard him say. And I know that time’s running out for me to react to his admission – he’s almost gone.
I rush over to my front door, and place my hand on it to stop it when it’s three-quarters of the way shut. He turns back to me, surprised to see me stop him. But his surprise disappears quickly, and I know he’s preparing himself for another onslaught of anger from me.
Instead, I simply push the door open – he lets go of the handle – and I flinch when it hits the wall.  I close the gap, placing one hand on the back of his head while resting the other over his collar bone, and pull him into a kiss. He’s stunned at first, but soon reciprocates. He even pulls me against him, wrapping his arms tight around me. It’s just so incredible kissing him. I break our kiss, and he chases my lips until I stop him by placing my fingers on his lips.
“I love you too, Oliver.”
He smiles, before lightly kissing my fingers. He then gently takes my hand, moves it from his lips, leans in and kisses me.
“Stay…” I say, between kisses. “Stay with me… tonight.”
He smiles, his sexy blue eyes focused on mine. And I barely register his nod.
He releases me from his arms. I take a step back as I drop my hands from him, only to slip one hand into his. He squeezes it gently, and I pull him back into my apartment. He pushes the door shut with his foot, his eyes never leaving mine. I back across the room, leading him towards my bedroom. And to think only mere minutes ago, this wasn’t even going to happen. I’m glad we worked things out. And I’m sure he is too.

“Don’t go,” he pleads, holding my hand to stop me from moving too far away from him.
“I have to. I have work.”
“Blow it off. Like anyone’s going to miss you.”
I tilt my head sideways, lips pursed.
“You know I love when you do that.”
I smile, before leaning closer and kissing him. “Maybe being a little late won’t hurt.”
He smiles, before pulling me into a big hug and rolling over to lie on top of me.
“You know, I never told you how absolutely stunningly gorgeous you looked in that dress.”
I smile. “Well thank you for choosing it for me.”
He smiles. “You’re welcome.”
“You can dress or undress me anytime.”
He grins, before kissing me. We make love again, and as we do I know that this will last a long time. We’re going to love each other until we’re dead. And nothing will come between us.

****
The End